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Mel Brooks scripted 2008 election in 1974. Surreality ensues.

Posted by soaquarian on Friday, October 24, 2008

Okay, this all started a few weeks ago as just a simple, quick post on one thing that struck me as a funny coincidence about Blazing Saddles and stuff that had happened in this election cycle. Unfortunately, politics doesn’t seem to want me to finish my idea. I have made a choice to just quit listening to the new stupid stuff and go with what I got, ’cause if I keep looking, I will find more.

I hope you also get to experience your own surreal moments from the movies or TV as our leaders act out our favorite scenes (I call dibs on Hudson’s classic line from Aliens, “Game over, man” for shortly after Obama wins Pennsylvania on November 4th, ’cause I’ll be using it liberally throughout the night, but feel free to use any other quotes).

Mel Brooks: Governor William J. Le Petomane: Holy underwear! Sheriff murdered! Innocent women and children blown to bits! We have to protect our phony baloney jobs here, gentlemen! We must do something about this immediately! Immediately! Immediately! Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!

Real life: “If money isn’t loosened up, this sucker could go down,” President George Bush on September 25, 2008

Nothing like folksy humor to emphasize how screwed you are. I wish I could find anything funny about the economy right now. But the entire character of Governor William J. Le Petomane is like a caricature of President George W. Bush in so many ways, it’s scary.

Mel Brooks: Gabby Johnson: I wash born here, an I wash raished here, and dad gum it, Ima’ gonna die here, an no sidewindin’ bushwackin’, hornswagglin’ cracker croaker is gonna rouin me bishen cutter.

Real life: Ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy, helping the— It’s got to be all about job creation, too, shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americans. And trade. We’ve got to see trade as opportunity not as a competitive, scary thing. But one in five jobs being created in the trade sector today, we’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. All those things.

Sarah Palin to Katie Couric on September 25, 2008

Both of the above sentences make about the same amount of sense. Nope, I take that back; after re-reading them, I can kinda tell what Gabby was trying to say. I’m still lost on that Palin sentence, though. Yes, it is verbatim verbiage. Feel free to diagram it; other people have tried, I’m sure. It works much better as a poem, but it still is too zen for me. David Foster Wallace she’s not.

Mel Brooks: Jim: You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.

Real life: “We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, very pro-America areas of this great nation.” – Gov. Sarah Palin to GOP supporters at October 16, 2008 fundraiser.

Real life: “Absolutely. I’m very concerned that he may have anti- American views. That’s what the American people are concerned about. That’s why they want to know what his answers are. That’s why Joe the plumber has figured so highly in had the last few days…” – Rep. Michelle Bachman to Chris Matthews on October 17, 2008

Regardless of what they seem to say, actions keep speaking louder than words. I really feel for people who keep getting sucked in by politicians. There is an entire section of Americans who consistently vote against their best interests. They vote for lower taxes for people making the most money, hoping those rich people will ‘make with the jobs’ instead of buying a diamond encrusted cell phone or putting the money in a trust for their dog. I admit I can be fooled by a slick operator, but I at least listen to what they are saying and make sure it jibes with reality.

If Obama’s a socialist because he wants to cut taxes for 80% of people who need it, isn’t McCain a bigger socialist for wanting to keep them the same? No, Bush is a socialist because the US government nationalized a lot of debt owned by private companies. Now, I need to get me and the kid new suits, because we own part of AIG! What do you mean it doesn’t work that way?

If gay marriage destroys heterosexual marriage, shouldn’t Canada, after 4 years, be full of single heterosexuals? It isn’t, from what I can tell. Well, no more than anywhere else. Maybe it’s the cold.

If Ireland has low corporate taxes, and low corporate taxes are great for the economy, why isn’t every business based in Ireland? Ireland, the engine of the world’s economy, the pivot of global finance, the, um, you say it’s not? Really? Well, then shouldn’t we be like the UAE, with corporate taxes of 0%? Oh, somebody has to pay for government, and we don’t have huge stocks of oil? How ’bout the other places with lower corporate tax rates than the US, corporate powerhouses like Cyprus, the Slovak Republic, Lithuania, Uzbekistan, or Lebanon? No? Well, shit, what do we do now?

And Republicans wonder why Obama has a double digit lead? Do they know about teh Google?

Mel Brooks: Jim: Another twenty-five years and you’ll be able to shake their hands in broad daylight.

Real life: So a canvasser goes to a woman’s door in Washington, Pennsylvania. Knocks. Woman answers. Knocker asks who she’s planning to vote for. She isn’t sure, has to ask her husband who she’s voting for. Husband is off in another room watching some game. Canvasser hears him yell back, “We’re votin’ for the n***er!”

Woman turns back to canvasser, and says brightly and matter of factly: “We’re voting for the n***er.”

— Sean Quinn at www.fivethirtyeight.com

This was the one that got me started in the first place writing this piece. Dear God, Republicans are losing the racist vote, unheard of since the Dixiecrats defected to the Republican Party. On the bright side, at least he still has this guy. Oh, the guy says it’s not political, it’s just racist. Well, there’s something to be said for honesty. I guess the dog whistles can’t be heard over the sucking sound from his campaign and my 401 (k). It reminds me of this post, where I predicted economics uber alles.

I gotta admit, the most entertaining part of this election season is seeing Tucker Bounds (no disrespect for Nancy Pfotenhauer, but I can’t pronounce her last name and Tucker has a bigger shit-eatin’ grin) spinning his heart out for McCain. The guy obviously doesn’t believe a thing he says, but he is quick on his feet and stays on message, even if they’re talking about something else.

I admire the skill that takes while I laugh; it’s like he’s channeling Anchorman the entire time. Tucker would be great for all the male characters, and Nancy could be Veronica. I see it in my head, but this post is about Mel Brooks, not Will Ferrell, so I will demur, for now.

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One Response to “Mel Brooks scripted 2008 election in 1974. Surreality ensues.”

  1. Jen said

    And you see, THIS is why I married you.

    🙂

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